these things and others

#6

[The other person.]

When there are multiple people on the television, I watch the ones who aren't talking. Directors try to minimize these situations by either drawing the eye to the speaker, or by only putting the speaker on camera. But sometimes they get distracted, or can't help it, or are trying what they think is an artistic shot, and there are non-speakers in the view.

"Where should I look?" the non-speakers think. "Um, I'll look at the camera."

So they look at the camera. But they don't just look at it. They glare. They glower. They stare with the intense eyes of the possesed. This is especially true during PBS telethons. I saw Sarah Brightman trapped this way during one telethon a few years ago. I think that she was intending to pose in an attractive manner, but her stare was calling for either detoxification or an exorcism.

If they smile, it is with a half frightened, mildly confused, forced smile. "This isn't working," they think. "I'll just look at the other person, who won't stop talking and is trapping me in this uncomfortable limbo."

So they look at the person talking for about two seconds before they realize that they can't decide whether to smile, nod, stare, or start to break dance. "Ugh," they think. "What if people are staring at my ear? Is this my good side? Do I have a good side? I should probably talk to my psychiatrist about this."

And they stare at the camera again.

Monday, March 10th, 2003
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